How to Pray for Those Who’ve Hurt You
When someone hurts you, prayer is probably the last thing on your mind. According to Scripture, however, it’s the first thing God wants from us. In 1 Samuel 8:4–7 and 12:19–25, the prophet Samuel models how to respond in prayer when people reject, wound, or abandon us.
1. Praying for Your Enemies Is a Sacred Obligation
Samuel’s response to Israel’s rejection is sobering: “Far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you” (1 Samuel 12:23).
Prayer isn’t optional—it’s obedience. When we withhold prayer from those who’ve hurt us, we sin not just against them, but against God.
Before we can truly intercede, we have to surrender our right to revenge. That starts by asking God to transform our hearts first.
2. Pray for Their Soul
Samuel gives us a powerful framework in 1 Samuel 12:24–25. Pray that your enemies:
- Recognize God’s sovereignty (fear the Lord)
- Serve Him faithfully
- See His goodness—past, present, and future
- Turn from evil and repent
This isn’t about excusing what they’ve done—it’s about aligning your heart with God’s desire to redeem and restore even the most broken people.
3. Keep Praying—Even When Roles Change
Just because a relationship ends doesn’t mean your spiritual responsibility does.
Samuel was no longer Israel’s judge in their eyes, but that didn’t release him from his calling. In the same way, your authority in prayer doesn’t come from how others see you—it comes from God.
Keep praying, even if the relationship is over or fractured. God can still work.
4. Anchor Your Prayers in God’s Character, Not Their Behavior
Israel had rejected God, yet He remained faithful. Your enemy may be unfaithful, unkind, or even cruel—but God’s nature doesn’t change. He desires the same thing for your enemy that He desires for you: abundant life in Christ.
It’s important to remember what’s really going on: “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of evil” (Ephesians 6:12).
The very fact that someone has hurt you is a sign they’ve allowed those forces to influence them—and those same forces are now trying to conquer you through bitterness, resentment, and revenge.
Don’t let them win. The best defense is prayer—anchored not in your enemy’s actions, but in God’s unchanging goodness and mercy.
Romans 5:8 reminds us: “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That’s our model. Praying for your enemies means partnering with God in the redemptive work He wants to do—even through your pain.
A Sample Prayer for Your Enemies
Father, I come to You with a heavy heart. You know how I’ve been hurt, and You know how hard it is to pray for the one who hurt me. To even be praying for this person hurts so much, but I know praying for them is Your will for me. Help me, Holy Spirit, surrender my need for revenge, and to make the following words a true request in my heart even though I don’t feel like it right now.
Open my enemy’s eyes to their need for You. Break through their spiritual blindness. Help them see Your goodness and turn away from evil. May they come to know You, fear You, and serve You. Give them a true awakening—a desire for Your grace and truth.
You are good and faithful even when we are not. And I believe you can use my pain for your glory. You loved me even when I was your enemy; help me to love this person in the same way. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“How God treated us when we were His enemies is how we should treat our enemies.”
John Freeland
This post is inspired by message five of our “40 Days of Prayer” sermon series entitled, “How to Pray for Your Enemies,” by Dr. John Freeland.