The Secret to Balancing Work and Family
We apologize for the somewhat misleading title of this blog because there is no such thing as a work-life balance!
Balance implies an equality of weight on both sides. The reality is that there will be times when work needs more than fifty percent of your time and effort. There will be other times when your family needs all of your attention.
The truth is it isn’t about balance at all. It’s about priority.
C.S. Lewis put it like this: “Put first things first and second things are thrown in. Put second things first and you lose both first and second things.”
“Put first things first and second things are thrown in. Put second things first and you lose both first and second things.”
C.S. Lewis
What Lewis is echoing in this quote is the same sentiment Jesus expressed in Mark 8:36: “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?”
Jesus and Lewis are warning their audiences that the way you rank your priorities–how you spend your time, attention, and energy–has a direct effect on you.
How to Determine Priority
If you’re feeling exhausted or stretched-thin between family and work, or between one of these and another responsibility, that’s a sign that somewhere you’ve got your priorities out of line.
What determines the order of priorities?
Following the conversation in the same passage where Jesus poses His question about gaining the world, we’ll notice things started off with a different question: who do you say Jesus is?
If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, then by the very definition of “Lord,” you are claiming that He is how you determine your priorities.
If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, then by the very definition of “Lord,” you are claiming that He is how you determine your priorities. This changes your perspective on the main purpose of every area of your life:
- The purpose of marriage is not merely companionship or to fulfill desires, but to sacrificially love your spouse in a way that represents God’s love for the Church to the world.
- The purpose of parenting is not merely to reproduce and carry on your legacy, but to pass on love of and faith in your Heavenly Father from one generation to the next.
- The purpose of faith is not to make you a moral person or to solve your problems, but to learn the truth of God and align your life by His character and will, because only by doing this will you experience the rightness that comes with loving God supremely and your neighbor sacrificially.
- The purpose of work is not to make money, find meaning, or achieve success. It is to advance the kingdom of God.
Take a moment to think of the areas of your life and the why behind them. Is that why connected to glorifying God? If it’s not, you need to reprioritize so that His will and purpose is what guides the order of every area.
What is a Soul Worth?
Jesus’ question in Mark 8:36 adds more weight to this fact: your priorities affect not just your eternity but the eternities of those around you.
For parents, that’s the souls of their spouse and children. When it comes to deciding how much time to spend on work versus with your family, you must look at the specific situation and ask yourself: if I don’t choose my family in this moment, how might it affect their faith?
For others, let this be a charge to ensure that as you live your daily life, you are taking time to make Jesus known to those around you.
What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?
Mark 8:36
This post is inspired by message two of our “God’s Design: The Family Code” sermon series entitled, “Balancing Family and Work by Dr. Jody Ray. You can dive deeper into what it looks like to lead your family well by using the study guide we’ve produced for this series. Submit your email here to receive a free eBook version to your inbox.