Preparation
One of the responsibilities of the Church is to help people be prepared for the major events and turning points in their spiritual lives. There are many ways that is done. For example, pastors counsel with parents before the baptism of their child, helping them to understand the importance of the vows they are making. We help guide those same children through the early milestones of their faith to the day they make a profession of faith in Christ on Confirmation Sunday. As pastors, we counsel engaged couples to help them ready themselves for the lifelong commitment of marriage.
Many times, preparation and energy go into preparing Christians for these major events in life. However, I’m often concerned there is one area that is somewhat neglected – that is, the death of a loved one.
One of the most traumatic events we can experience is the death of someone we love. The average person experiences the death of someone they love several times in life. Most of us see the death of our parents. We may even feel the sting of losing a brother or sister. Many know the crushing feeling when our spouse of many years dies. And some of us have experienced the overwhelming grief of a child’s death.
The loss of someone you love is one of life’s greatest traumas. I’m certainly not so naive as to think that we can ever be totally ready to deal with the trauma of death, but I want to share some thoughts for you to consider.
What do you do when a loved one dies?
Cry.
Today my eldest turns 18, and her mother and I have shed a few tears. We’ve cried at times over the years out of sheer pride and joy for her, and we are super proud of the young woman she’s become, but we also feel the pain of knowing our little girl is growing up. Grief is a very important process that we must all endure, and crying is our natural response to pain. Crying is good and healthy. Tears are the water God provides us to wash the pain from our hearts. When we neglect to cry, we are neglecting a God-given privilege and responsibility.
Remember God is with you.
Jesus’ final promise is found in Matthew 28:20 where He says, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Jesus is with us, not only in the good times when we’re happy but also in the difficult times when we are sad. It is important for us to remember that our Lord never abandons us. He is always with us. There are times when we feel overcome with grief, that it feels like God is not with us. But I want you to know, it is in those moments of our deepest pain and grief that God is the closest to us. It’s in those times when He gives us the strength to endure and the encouragement to keep moving forward.
Psalm 46 says, “God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”
Remember that Better Days are ahead.
I’ve been there. I’ve experienced the pain that feels as though life has come to a screeching halt. I know what it’s like when you keep trying harder and harder to see through the clouds of grief and to be engulfed in pain and sorrow. I’ve walked through a season in my own life when I couldn’t find a reason (not one) to even pretend to be happy – all your plans shattered, your dreams dashed, and your hopes destroyed. A moment when you suddenly find yourself asking, “What’s the reason to continue going on?” Grief can do that to you. It can make you feel lost and defeated.
But I want you also to hear me say this…BETTER DAYS ARE AHEAD.
Romans 8:28 says: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I know from personal experience that Romans 8:28 is true! Mt. Bethel family, scripture does not lie! Regardless of how bleak and barren today may seem, God is leading you into a better tomorrow. Never let go of that hope!
Continuing to pray with you and for you as we prepare for better days,
Jody