The Secret to Living a Peaceful Life: Forgiveness
Last week we covered 5 Things You’re Doing That Are Robbing You of Peace. Both Numbers 3 and 5 on that list briefly discussed how living contrary to God can keep us as believers from leaning into and experiencing the peace we have access to through our faith in Jesus.
In this post, we’re going to dive a little deeper by focusing on how unforgiveness can keep us from having peace both within ourselves and with others.
Forgiveness is Central to Peace
Forgiveness isn’t easy but it is essential to living a peaceful life. That’s because unforgiveness is contrary to God’s love for you. You won’t be able to lean into the inner peace that comes with salvation–which at its core is built on reconciliation between you and our Heavenly Father through Jesus’s sacrifice–if you’re not living at peace with those around you.
Likewise, if you’re pursuing Jesus, then the Holy Spirit will guide you to pursue peace with others because to pursue reconciliation with others is to be like Christ.
How to Cultivate a Life of Forgiveness
Offense is like weeds in a garden–inevitable, and if not managed, will choke out the flowering and fruit-bearing plants you want to grow. You can’t avoid being offended in life. At one point or another in every relationship, the other person is going to do something that hurts you in some way, whether they mean to or not.
But just like gardeners prune weeds to help their other plants thrive, you won’t be able to embrace the abundant life Jesus died and rose again to give you if you don’t tend to the offenses in your relationships.
The secret to living a peaceful life is not to avoid offense, but to not allow the offenses of others to take root and grow in our lives.
The secret to living a peaceful life is not to avoid offense, but to not allow the offenses of others to take root and grow in our lives. Here’s how:
- First, acknowledge something has been done by someone and it offended you. (See David’s example in Psalm 22.) You’ll never be able to extend forgiveness if you never recognize whatever it was that offended you.
- Second, make the choice to forgive. (Matthew 18:21-22) It won’t be easy, and it’ll probably be a choice you have to make every day, but if you decide what hurt you isn’t going to keep you from loving the person who hurt you the way Christ loves them, then you’ll be able to work towards a spirit of reconciliation.
- Third, remember God’s forgiveness. (Ephesians 4:32) Remembering the gospel and the great lengths Jesus went to bring reconciliation between us and our Heavenly Father–even knowing that we might still reject Him–will humble your heart and empower you to forgive those who’ve greatly offended you.
- Finally, bless the one who has hurt you. (Romans 12:17-21) Start by praying for them, and then, when and how the Holy Spirit moves you to, find a way to bless them through a gift or an act of service.
When you do these things, you’ll find that even if the other person never acknowledges or apologizes for the hurt they’ve caused you, you’ll eventually be able to find peace in their presence and in your thoughts about them. What you’ll find is that the Holy Spirit will help you depend on God for justice. And as the Apostle Paul reminds us in Romans 12:19, our Heavenly Father is a just God who will take vengeance against those who have hurt us.
Consider this: perhaps the Holy Spirit wants to use your efforts and attitude of reconciliation to work in the other person’s life and draw him or her closer to Him.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:18 & 21
This post is inspired by message 3 of our sermon series on Peace, entitled “Peace with Others” by Dr. Jody Ray. You can watch the full message here. You can also subscribe to download the complete study guide to go along with this series here.