Response to The Transformed Wife: God Did Not Say That

August 2, 2018
By Kelly Brumbeloe, Pastor of North Campus

Friends, I’m here to defuse a grenade that’s been cast out into the blogosphere, advising women that attending college (especially secular universities), moving out of their parents’ home, and finding a career go against God’s Word and will surely lead them down the path to debt, sexual impurity, and de-valuing future children.

With all due respect to blogger Lori Alexander (a mother and grandmother who, according to her bio, ministers to young women to allow God’s Word and His ways to transform their marriage and their lives), a word of caution: please don’t twist God’s Word. And to anyone who read that particular blog and was left with a bitter taste for God, hear me: God did not say that.

Ms. Alexander’s blog is overwhelmingly grounded in her own opinions. Opinions are fine . . . until we impose those opinions on others and place God’s name on them.

My goal here is to separate the biblical truths from fiction (or to put it another way, the word of God from the word of blogs).

I am disappointed by how the church itself fanned the flames of Ms. Alexander’s opinions, spreading fear and disbelief. In the church, we need to teach people how to understand scripture. We would never take a chapter or paragraph out of a fiction or nonfiction book and expect to garner a thorough understanding of the entire book. So why would we expect that one biblical passage would give us access to all of the biblical views of God and Jesus?

Let’s take a closer look at some of God’s views, according to the Word:

  1. God has great wisdom about debt and sexual promiscuity. However, this wisdom is given out to men and women equally.
  2. We are called to live in the world but not of the world (John 17:14-15). To avoid all places that teach secular things would be impossible and non-biblical. Also worth noting: Men go to the same universities and have the same temptations.
  3. God is the creator and the originator of all good things. He created us with brains and expects us to use them. Does this come with a price? Yes, because some may choose to become part of the world and walk away from Christ. However, God left this choice in our hands and was willing to take this risk.
  4. God is not afraid of us wrestling with our theology as we approach living in this world as His followers. Remember, Jacob wrestled with God.

5. Single or married, childless or mothers, all women have worth, value, and purpose in the eyes of God. God’s desire for all women and men is to stay close to the Lord and trust in Him at all times.

Here are some tools to help you dive into these topics a bit further:

These articles and videos by New Testament scholars provide a balanced view of scripture, and address topics like submission and marriage roles as well as women in ministry.

  • Watch this 7-Minute Seminary video on women and their roles in family and ministry
  • Read this Brilliant article about women in ministry
  • Two more worth watching–scholars on 1 Timothy 2 discussing women being quiet in church and women childbearing:

I would like to close with a gem that one of my professors, Dr. Steve Seamands, shared with me. It’s the idea of dogma, doctrine, and opinion (and actually, something of a hierarchy of faith):

    1. Dogma—Essentials of the Christian faith
      • Jesus is the son of God
      • Trinity
      • Jesus died for our sins
    2. Doctrine- the way we talk about God: These are important but not essential in our Christian faith. Doctrine is definitely not worth dying over or ruining friendships over.
      • Baptism- believer vs. baby
      • Women in ministry
      • Free will vs predestination
    3. Opinion- Our opinions about what scripture says. Too often, churches split and people are judged based on opinions. We should never hold our opinions as if they are dogma or doctrine.
      • How to use liturgy in the church
      • Style of music in the church

Who is in charge here? (hint: It’s God). I believe Ms. Alexander’s blog leaves too much control in our hands. We serve a forgiving and redeeming God who can take a broken vessel and make it new. Let’s never underestimate God’s ability to redeem, protect, and offer his ever-extending grace. The scripture teaches us that God will never leave us nor forsake us. So, no matter where you are, God is with you.


Kelly Brumbeloe

Campus Pastor, College Graduate, Wife, Mother, and strong woman