Eight Tips on Facing Fears from a Nine Year Old

August 14, 2019
By Carrie Ward (with Ash Ward)

We all have those moments when you climb into bed, turn out the light and then, the mind starts to take over. What if… I forgot to do this…Can I really do…

Fear, or False Expectations Appearing Real, can be anything for anyone. For my daughter, Ash, it was fear of the dark, of weird noises, of the upcoming school year, of tween hormones/unknowns and girl drama, and fear of being alone.

Despite the nightly prayers to God thanking Him for all we have, including our safety, the paralysis of fear took over her precious body, and the words came out, “Mommy, I can’t be by myself.” At the time, we gave her the lip service that you are never alone because God is with you, but it did little to reassure her and stop her tears.

Night after night was the same routine – encouragement and prayers, followed by the inevitable, “I can’t sleep alone, can I sleep in my sister’s  (or your) room.” No parent wants to see their child dejected and believing they can’t do anything. Our concerns grew when we started to notice that she didn’t want to be alone…ever. She was always attached to my husband or me during the day and night.

Fast forward a few weeks, and our daughter begged to sit in Sunday service, once again she did not want to be away from us. I still believe Kelly Brumbeloe crafted her sermon just for us, as the focus was releasing our fear to God. It was as if she heard my daughter talking. Based on 2 Timothy 1:7, “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.” As Kelly continued to preach, the physical angst in my daughter’s shoulders was being released. She was hearing and more importantly, she was understanding the message. She went to the prayer alter and Kelly gave her assuring pep talk echoing the same message. Tears of relief were in all our eyes. The message was real to this nine-year-old; she truly felt it in her heart and mind.

That night, we said our nightly prayers, but the tone and conviction were different. She was truly releasing her angst to God and for the first time in months, she fell asleep peacefully…in her own room. The smile of pride she had the next morning when she came downstairs, overcoming her fear, will be one I never forget.

Since that day, we have talked a lot about trusting God with everything. As we wrote this blog, I asked her to share some of her thoughts on how to overcome fear – whether you are nine or ninety. Everyone faces fear at some point. Here is what she shared:

  1. Even when we are physically alone, we are not spiritually alone. Even when you think you’re no one or your best friend is eating lunch with another person, you are not alone.
  2. You always have the ear of God – through our prayers, he is listening and helping. He may not help right away but he will always help you.
  3. God is love, trustworthy, kind, and always by my side.
  4. After I pray, my day gets lighter because I had something and I gave it to God
  5. I want to help other people and teach others the importance of prayer because you get a lot off your shoulders and you live a better life because you are never alone.
  6. Even if you don’t believe, you should still know that God is with you no matter what. He will never judge you for who you are or for what you do – He loves you. One time I didn’t want to go to school because I had a big test and I asked God for His help. He answered my prayer and gave me a sign that I would do great on the test. I also knew, even if I didn’t do great, He would still love me!
  7. Anyone can connect to God. I am not special in my ability to hear from God. If you want to connect to God – just be open to talking and hearing from God! He is always listening.
  8. Favorite encouraging scriptures  – 2 Timothy 1:7 (obviously) as well as:
  •  John 3:16
  • Psalm 23:1
  • Luke 1:35

After she shared some pointers with me, Ash ended with these thoughts, “I have opened up my heart and feel a sigh of relief and He is always with me. Like a best friend and even if I am going through tough times, I know He is there.  Even if my friends are not being nice, I have Him on my side – always and forever.”

Throughout the course of her nine-years, she has been blessed to have so many positive, spiritual influences through school, community, and church. Her dream is to be a minister (if the FBI Agent route doesn’t work), and we have no doubts that God has given her a gift to share His word. We continue to pray she overcomes whatever fear comes her way. She did it once and will do it again thanks to her belief and trust in God. Special thanks to a wonderful role model, Rev. Kelly Brumbeloe, for inspiring her to trust God to give her all the confidence and strength she needs!

Go here to see Rev. Kelly Brumbeloe’s sermon on releasing fear to God!